It feels unsafe: Has the second series of Epistaxis Time come to a premature end? Yes, probably. This show wasn’t submitted with the usual accompaniment of feverish text and ingredient listings, and I am loath to supply bullet-pointed provisional song titles for fear of error. Conspiracy theories abound that our host was “pretending to die”, [...]
You’re in for an anti-treat! This Epistaxis thrusts us into a beautiful plush environment of slurgles, polythene oysters bearing mucous pearls, a trolley quivering in an alleyway, crazed metal and meat agape. Feel loneliness. Oil fat is mixed with Nivea Visage Q10 plus (the world’s favourite anti-wrinkle cream) bubbling wildly, then fed into EM coils which [...]
Now you’ve done it. This installment introduces us to the dot matrix guitar (”printar”) emanating dotty boss riffs and hot licks (literally: the print head gets hot enough to fry eggs on) which are played and amplified in your general direction, love. Subsequent misery ensues: Phone Chr*s Or Die Trying Mama was a Shapeshifter - Denny Clavicon Summer [...]
This episode contains a sob story, but more importantly: a celebrity interview(!), but I shan’t spoilt it by revealing too much. How refreshing! Here’s a mapping to guide you through this episode’s construct: JJ and his Substrates - Submarining Magazine reviews It Seems So Right, It’s Wro-ho-ong - The Effeminate Xylophonists Sludgemunchkin - Sludgemunchkin Heimlich Manoeuvrability - Cindy’s Workout Tapes [...]
Under a cloud of financial/general difficulties our host finds himself homeless, so woos us with his ’sonic portrait’ skills that showcase his potential as your personal in-house artist (if you grant him accommodation, that is). A marvellous gem from his music collection follows: Sam Jones - Hero An enthused reading of a poem entitled ‘Onion’ ends [...]
Following the well-trodden path of saying “hello” on radio and suchlike, attempts are made to orientate the listener as fully as humanly possible. However, the introduction is stripped of all credibility and matter-of-factness, as the dialogue was recorded in anti-realtime from within a phase inverted superelectromagnetic space-chamber which interferes with one’s perception of time. I [...]
A special episode of Epistaxis time, crafted to untertain popular iPod owining people. You get too much entertainment, so try to enjoy this if you can. A depressing into. I really want to die To die on a Sunny Day
A confrontation with home-invading animal-rights activists provokes a homo-erotic monologue, and a series of uncomfortable confessions.
The penultimate episode of Epistaxis Time begins with a touching story of one man’s triumph in the face of adversity.
This episode beins with an exciting yet depressing techno number about alienation, arrest and imprisonment. Our host bakes and eats a pie containing miscelaneous prescription drugs.